The Addict

"Hi, my name is Mollie and I am an addict."What is my baby addicted to, you ask? I'll tell you - deodorant. That's right, she can't get enough of the stuff. She got her first taste a few months ago when she found my secret in the bathroom, but there was a small problem: it's the kind that comes out of holes so she couldn't get much out. Of course, as soon as I found out what she had done I called poison control and they said that she didn't eat enough to make her sick but she would most likely be thirsty for a while. I thought that was the end of her curiosity about deodorant until this past weekend. We had some San Francisco friends (who now live in Ohio) visiting for the weekend. Mollie was playing in the basement (which just happens to double as the guest room) and when I called her up for dinner I noticed something smeared on her cheek. Upon further inspection we noticed that she smelled a lot like a man's underarm. Remembering the episode a few months back, I smelled her breath - sure enough, deodorant. A quick recon trip to the basement found not only 1 but 2 partly devoured sticks of deodorant! She had eaten at least a teaspoon out of each one, so another call to poison control was in order. This time they said she would have a stomach ache and most likely throw up or have diarrhea. I really hope they don't keep track of who calls and how many times, or I might be turned in for feeding my daughter's addiction. To end this really long story, she woke up a few hours later covered in throw up. She was sick for a while, and then she perked up when it was all out of her system. I guess it's time to keep our deodorant in a locked case from now on, and if you come for a visit don't forget a key to your suitcase!